She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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