So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
nutella sex= disaster
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What a dumb baby whore.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
