I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the day after is always just damage control
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
