Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
