Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
