elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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