I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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