I want to have your abortion
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
