apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
