tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize