i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
