Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Best friends brother. Beat that.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
