I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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