y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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