and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
what day is it and did you see me today?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
