Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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