Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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