I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We got so high we made milksteak
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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