you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
