Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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