I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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