i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
