No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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