You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Randomize
