to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
