a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
