Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
