remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
