We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
