3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
