This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
