Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize