haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
