It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
