you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
