I think I am morally bankrupt
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
