i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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