Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm at about main and main street
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
