In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
