I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
