U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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