Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
