This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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