i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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