Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
