Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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