Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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