Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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