I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
