What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
