seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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