dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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