do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
