Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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