no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
How does it feel to date your dad?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
