That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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