we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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