I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
