The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
