the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
