doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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