There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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